is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
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