Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Randomize
