He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
