My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
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