please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Randomize
