Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Randomize
