I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I think your dad took our porno
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
