When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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