so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Randomize
