If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
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