how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
