have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
