were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
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It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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