At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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