Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Randomize
