I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
