Nicole vs. Life
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize