K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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