I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
