I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
