Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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