She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Randomize