I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
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