Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
My bed smells like the plague
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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