I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
