You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
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