She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize