playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
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