Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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