This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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