i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
