she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Randomize
