This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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