You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I just saw a hot homeless man
Me too!
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
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