i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize