wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
