Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
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he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
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