i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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