I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
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