Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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