I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
It's your last night of vacation right? Be the Oprah of dick. And you get a dick... and you get a dick, and you get a dick!!!
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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