Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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