I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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