She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
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