whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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