I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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