im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
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