Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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