Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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