What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Randomize
