Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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