I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
