I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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