the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Randomize