I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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