Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
