I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
