I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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