He is an equal opportunity slut.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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