hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of
they're like a gay fantastic four
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera